THE BIG UNIVERSITY CHAT - a very, very long rambly post including interviews, decisions, anxiety, the lot. Chloe W ♡

Thursday, 18 February 2016


Today has been really crazy with the weather, I woke up this morning to glorious sunshine through my blinds, almost felt like Summer was approaching- and then when I decided to make the most of it and go out and take some photo's on the beach, it literally started chucking it down and hailing! Nevertheless I got some photographs, and now as I am lounging around in a very cosy fluffy blanket, I am being blinded again by some indecisive sunrays. But I guess that's the UK (in particularly Cornwall) for you.


This week so far has been kinda hectic for me, not in the sense that I've been busy, but generally just unwinding from the past few weeks then being reunited with my good friends overthinking and over emotional. As you may have read my post a few weeks back- I was almost 100% certain that I wasn't going to go to University in September this year, I wanted to travel, maybe defer a year to do this, or attempt to set up my own Photography business.

This was all before I went to my interviews in Bournemouth and Plymouth - already loving Bournemouth as a location as it was where I used to live, where most of my family live,and where I intend to live in the future- I thought the arts university would completely win me over and change my plans of not going, I guess in a sense this worried me because although I would love to live in Bournemouth, I'm not sure if I'm ready for it now. Here in Cornwall I have my parents and younger brother, not to mention a lot of close friends who won't be leaving and my boyfriend of nearly 3 years. Studying that far away would be super difficult and expensive when wanting to go back to Cornwall to visit. A lot of people have said, don't let others hold you back from going far for uni, but if I'm far away and missing certain people- it's just going to bring me down and eat me up. I'm not one for getting homesick, I love change to an extent, and recently my never-ending same routine has been driving me crazy; so maybe moving to Bournemouth for Uni will be an exciting adventure?

I have to put a disclaimer out and say this post is probably going to be/already is really babbly and confusing - my thoughts are literally contradicting each other all the time at the moment!!

Okay so, day of the interview at Bournemouth Arts - I am chilled out, not that bothered, because I don't want to go to Uni, right? We're split into groups at 1pm, have a mini tour of the place, then put in this Alan Sugar style Boardroom (at this point my nerves kicked in a tiny bit). I'm thinking to myself, shit they're going to interview us all together round this massive table. Cue my crippling social and general anxiety. But no worries, we're split into groups of 3 instead, then one by one interviewed by a lecturer and a third year. The interview was pretty relaxed, we were given a list of questions beforehand to prep us- so I had some idea of what to say. After the interview, my Mum came and picked me up and we went back to my Grandma's - everyone keen to know how it went and if I loved it. At this point I felt kind of spaced out, it was like I didn't actually feel any connection to the University like a lot of people talk about, it was nice and modern sure, and the equipment and resources were pretty - hench? like damn, I did try not drool. But I just kind of felt awkward, maybe because I hadn't been to open days beforehand- who knows.

I realise I have plenty of time to decide whether or not to go to University, as I am constantly reminded, but hearing about how everyone is certain on the ones they're going to, their firm choice and the one they have their heart set on drives me crazy. Why do I not know yet?! What am I doing?! I am naturally an extremely indecisive person, but not having some sort of plan gets to me, I feel like I can't do anything unless I have a plan.

After visiting that Uni, it was almost clear to me that it wasn't going to be something for me- it didn't feel right. Later that day me, my Mum, Grandparents and Auntie and Uncle all gathered in the lounge awaiting a skype call from my Cousin- she's currently in her first year at Nottingham and I hadn't spoken to her in ages so it was lovely to speak to her, we talked all together and it was clear she was absolutely loving the experience despite not being someone who goes out and gets wasted - despite stereotypes of what University is like. I was almost envious of how much she was enjoying herself.

The next week I started to have this craving of independence, I wanted to live away from home and meet new people, buy food for myself and have a little more freedom. But I didn't want to go to Uni, so this was going to be something challenging for me to achieve.

Last Wednesday came around quick and it was time for my Interview at Plymouth, I wasn't sure what to think about it initially, every time I've mentioned going to Plymouth to someone they've rolled their eyes, sighed because everyone assumes it's not going to be great because it's close to where we live now, or hasn't got the top ratings.

My Boyfriend currently goes to Plymouth, in his second year currently- and so we both travelled up that day and I met one his friends on the train- she was lovely and it was clear that they were definitely enjoying the University despite commuting everyday. They both left me to fend for myself in the morning as they had lecture, and I was very very anxious- carrying a heavy portfolio and backpack full of sketchbooks I walked into this huge welcome tent, sitting down at one of the many round tables labelled with 'Photography'. Slowly 6-7 others joined the table and we all chatted for a bit, what Universities we had applied to, if the interviews were nerve wracking, where we had come from and so on. Immediately I felt comfortable and throughout the day until my interview, there were lots of current students there giving really detailed tours and advice not to mention there were so many new friendly faces to chat too, and it was almost like we knew each other already. Plus there were TONNES of freebies. Don't give me freebies. I'll get attached. The interview was extremely laid back and I had only about 3 main questions asked, the rest felt like a casual conversation.

The train home it dwelled on me that commuting seemed very stressful and tiring, and with Photography if I lived at home it would be limiting to my independent study, and it would be dark by the time I get to shoot photographs. Staying in halls would definitely be an option if I went.

By now if you're still reading this post, imagine me handing you a very shiny gold medal because I am definitely waffling.

I'm not even sure what the point of this post is, I guess I am just a very confused little bean and writing everything down in a post levels things out for me.

So fast forward to this current time, it seems completely obvious what University I should go for, so why am I still confused? Maybe it's partly to do with the fact that I am also extremely keen to go travelling, and that I'm torn between the location of a University in a town that I adore, and somewhere I feel much more comfortable going.

SUGGESTION TO FUTURE EDUCATION BOARDS AND UNIVERSITIES ETC: How about instead of having students start University in September, we start in January the following year? That gives us the Summer holidays plus 3 extra months to travel and make decisions. Idk. It should be a thing.

In short, I've literally found myself breaking down in tears over shitty small things this week because I am so stressed and confused- like someone said the coffee in the shop I work in was expensive and after they left I legitimately started bawling. I am a mess, talk about embarrassing. However writing this post is kinda putting me at ease. It puts things into perspective, like today I started to look at accommodation as well as guiltily comparing the two on Unistats, and it dwelled on me that the Universities are equally on par with each other, whichever I choose - if any, will be great- and that only I can make the choice for myself, not influenced by other peoples decisions.

Sorry if this has completely bored you, if not then please please comment below if you're having similar problems, or if you're at Uni, or not at Uni- I'd love to chat and hear what you think!

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